Last March I was laid off from my full time job. I wasn’t sure what the next step would be and luckily I had had some notice that I would be losing my job. I spent much of February and March trying to decide what my next step should be. As I thought and dreamed and ruminated I decided that I would try to make my part time job a full time endeavor.
In late May the dream that had been very quickly becoming a reality, despite my trepidation and amazement, completely and immediately fell apart. I wasn’t sure what to do at first. It may have been the lowest point of the last year and half. If I’m being totally honest, I’m pretty sure I cried for several days straight. Ultimately, I decided just to keep moving forward and see where it led. I found a new place to live at the very last minute and began my new pursuits in Akron, Ohio.
I don’t want to bore you with the minutia but rest assured there have been and still are many moments of ups and downs and highs and lows. This adventure has been one that it truly terrifying and wonderful in equal measure. The support that I have received in so many forms from friends new and old is overwhelming and appreciated beyond words. My loved ones have been steadfast in their support and so generous with their time, encouragement, unending belief in my endeavors, love and not the least of importance money. Without them I would not be able to continue pursuing this path!
Every day I feel the pull of this path and while it is exhausting sometimes, it is wonderful. I have learned so much about myself and about people. I have been invited to be a part of so many amazing peoples’ journeys and am so grateful for these relationships. Although I run around most days driving from here to there, covering well over 500 miles a week and generally don’t know exactly what day it is until I check my calendar, I’m so in love with my life and my work.
I have learned, and maybe I already knew this but didn’t want to acknowledge it, that fear can be a master motivator and also a silencer. The when you are deep in the the struggle to care for your basic needs and responsibilities you can become the most creative; full of raw and amazing ideas and plans. That a loving embrace and words of support are even more valuable than money to pay a bill. And possibly the most important thing that I have learned is that life is meant to be lived most fully; drawing each breath full of bittersweet moments and realizations and that experiences, good ones and not so enjoyable ones, are so much more valuable than anything else.
I would be lying if I told you that I don’t struggle with fear, the what ifs and doubt. I do, almost daily. But I have a steadfast commitment deep in my soul to be happily pursuing that which brings me joy and makes me feel so fully alive. I’m so grateful for each of you and the part that you have played in my journey. It is because of my clients and students, friends and loved ones that I continue each day when I want to stay at home in bed and feel sorry for myself. You have all been the greatest teachers for me and I’m certain that you will continue to do so! Thank you for making the last year of my life so amazing, exhilarating and fulfilling. Most of all thank you for your love and unending support!
Peace and love, Tracie
PS. Here’s the latest podcast!!! My dear dear friend, champion, and inspiration Melissa Klimo-Major joins us for the second June podcast. She talks about her inspiration for teaching, her growing business Balance & Brews and the super exciting Beer Yogi Tour that she is about to embark on! As always feel free to reach out to her! All of the necessary links and email addresses are in the notes for the podcast. Also if you have any ideas for a podcast or topics you want to hear about let me know! 🙂
Leave a Reply